Being Happy
Why So Glum?
The so-called “news media” devotes 90% of its time and space to the bottom 2% of the population – the 2% who lie to, cheat, steal from, assault and kill other people.
Another 9% of editorial space covers sport and gambling, leaving a very thin 1% to cover the good-news stories about the other 98% of the population – you know, the honest, charitable, positive, kind and healing people leading productive lives and creating a great community and nation! The rest of us!
So, to do our bit to balance things out, we’re going to devote 98% of the space in this article to studying some very positive and successful habits and strategies that happy, fulfilled, productive and positive people use to create a great life for themselves, and a range of great products and services for a whole host of other nice people.
Those positive and productive folk were studied 60 years ago by behavioural scientist Abraham Maslow and his findings are still totally valid today. The individuals Maslow chose to study lived abundant lives, made the best use of their talents, skills and knowledge, and exhibited the highest levels of mental health.
Maslow called them “self-actualisers“.
Self-Actualisers
“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately happy,” said Maslow. “What a man (or woman) can be, they must be. This need we call self-actualisation.”
From his study of these positive and fulfilling individuals, Maslow distilled 16 characteristics that define them. You might like to check yourself against the list to see how you score on each point. Rate yourself 1 if you have a lot of work to do, up to 6 if you have the point nailed:
How Do You Rate On The Self-Actualisation Scale?
Score Yourself on This Characteristic or Behaviour
1. Openness to experience. Self-actualisers are eager to undergo new experiences and rethink old ideas.
2. An efficient perception of reality. Self-actualisers see things as they really are, not as they imagine or wish them to be.
3. Acceptance of self, nature and others. Self-actualisers rarely feel anxious, guilty or ashamed. They are confident in themselves and their ability to solve problems.
4. Spontaneity and naturalness. Self-actualisers are genuine in their relationships. They do not wear masks or play roles.
5. Focus on outside problems. Self-actualisers are not self-obsessed. Their focus is on a general “mission” to which they devote their lives.
6. Detachment and privacy. Self-actualisers crave solitude and time for quiet reflection.
7. Continued freshness or appreciation. The self-actualising man or woman experiences joy in simple, everyday things: sunsets, starry nights, children laughing, autumn leaves.
8. Peak experiences. Self-actualisers experience strong, positive emotions akin to ecstasy. This may include a deep sense of peacefulness or tranquillity.
9. Empathy. Self-actualisers are more willing to listen to and learn from people of any class, race, religion or ideology.
10. Interpersonal relations. Self-actualising people tend to have relatively fewer friends, but those relationships are likely to be deep and meaningful.
11. Democratic character. The self-actualiser recognises we all have strengths and weaknesses, but that we share a common humanity and equality
12. Discrimination between ends and means. Self-actualisers work to achieve desirable ends, but avoid wrong or hurtful means to achieve them.
13. Philosophical sense of humour. Self-actualisers enjoy humour but not at the expense of others. (As Goethe said, “Men show their character in nothing more clearly than what they think laughable.”)
14. Creativity. Self-actualisers enjoy using their creative abilities, whether it’s writing, drawing, music or woodworking. (Maslow once remarked that a first-rate soup is better than a second-rate painting.)
15. Resistance to enculturation. Self-actualisers are not dependent on the opinions of others or the conventions imposed by society. They have a keen sense of who and what they are.
16. Awareness of imperfections. Self-actualisers are not saints. They have weaknesses and shortcomings like everyone else. But they are aware of them.
The Self-Actualisation Path
Self-actualisation is not a goal, it’s a way of looking at Life as a journey of self-improvement.
“One’s only rival is one’s potentialities,” said Maslow. “One’s only failure is failing to live up to one’s own possibilities. In this sense, every man can be a king.”
Moving along the path chosen by self-actualisers is a matter of shunning the safe, avoiding the comfortable and disturbing the routine, and continually looking for small challenges against which to grow.
The path can be as simple as taking a different route to work every day; buying a different paper or magazine to your habit; varying your diet to include things you would never normally eat; and being prepared to listen longer and think harder to a point of view that you would normally dismiss or ignore.
Self-actualisers are very aware that they have the opportunity to grow every time they face a choice. It’s simply a matter of taking “the growth choice” over the comfortable, the familiar and the habitual “dead choice”.
